I believe this culture seeped into the minds of modern African men and that is why most inadvertently romance their women, with some not even realising they are doing so.I remember my father surprising my mother with the gift of a car she had long admired when she obtained her Driving License.It is a pity I cannot write a longer article because I have plenty of stories and views an on this subject.I will only narrate those that immediately come to my mind as I go along.
Last month, K, a Dutch woman friend of mine was telling me how she hates it when a man she is dating calls her or sends her messages during the day telling her he misses her and is thinking of her.
In which case, she would have to consult her diary for a suitable date and time.
I thought she was insensitive, crazy and overly practical. I always looked forward to receiving those kind of calls and messages from my partners, whether extremely busy or not, and in all of my relationships except one, I expected and received them. My Dutch Civil Integration (Inburgering) teacher had an English boyfriend.
Even if a supposedly romantic evening is going well it is not unheard of for both parties to share the bill.
Perhaps I am old-fashioned but I cannot see or feel any expression of love or affection in this scenario.
During one of our practical interactive activities (Nederlands gesprek oefenenen) she revealed that her gentleman friend whom she had been seeing for just over a year was too sweet and too fond of romancing her.