While you do not want that to happen, it is reality. Also, if he wants you to meet all his needs, that is close to idolatry (Exodus 20:3, 4). Do not fall for the statement of, “I just care about you so much,” when a guy won’t keep his hands to himself.
You will disappoint each other, not on purpose, but you will. The truth is, he cares more about himself in that scenario.
by Shelley Poston It can be difficult to be clear-headed in a dating relationship.
It is easy to see only the positive in the other person and completely ignore any warning signs. It would be foolish to date someone and not even consider the possible outcomes.
However, a husband is responsible to lead his wife in sanctification, as this verse explains with the imagery of Christ and His bride.
I think it is safe to ask this question: if a man is not honorable and pure before marriage, why would he be so afterward? However, if he could not keep his hands to himself before marriage, how do you know he will keep them to just you after marriage?
Spouse abuse by an angry man does not usually randomly begin fifteen years into a marriage. Abuse is not only physical- it can also be emotional. If he is more concerned with worldly pleasure than pleasing God in being an honorable and responsible man, this is not the kind of man who will rightly point his family toward Christ-likeness. The Bible has a name for the guy who has the Peter-Pan syndrome: he is called “the sluggard.” Proverbs mentions him several times, including in Proverbs 6:9-11, which states, “How long will you lie there, O sluggard? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.” What is this man’s work ethic? Is he unhealthily dependent on his friends or family?
A man may apologize to you over and over again, but if he has abused you even once, leave the dating relationship immediately. Encourage him to find a godly man who can help him, but you should get out fast. Has he not taken adult responsibility such as his living arrangements or expenses? If your date is a flirt or has many close female friends (especially previous girlfriends), this is something to take as a caution.
I am not implying that a man has to be a prude, but he is to be a protector.
If a man is addicted to pornography, he is already committing adultery/fornication in his heart, even before you tie the knot.
Does he spew his anger all over everyone, including you? Proverbs -25 says, “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.” If you are not to make friendships with angry people, why would you covenant yourself to someone who fits this description? If he would more readily spend a day on the lake than helping someone in need, this indicates where his heart lies.