’”-Roman Griffen, author of Internet Dating: Tips, Tricks, and Tactics“Eric will win a response because he (1) focuses on his reader: a woman who reads Nabokov; (2) shows interest in the same; (3) demonstrates a sense of humor about himself; and (4) initiates a discussion that has possibilities.”-Sandra Lamb, author of Personal Notes: How to Write from the Heart for Any Occasion“Of course an attractive woman can like both Al Green and Nabokov; why wouldn’t that be the case?I’d be more inclined to respond if his email was more upbeat.”-Alicia, 30, Philadelphia“All guys should avoid any reference to ‘the little man.’ Otherwise, Eric gets points for humor, but if he’d weep if everything in my profile wasn’t entirely true, I’d be afraid what he’d do if I turned him down for a second date.”-Christine, 35, Los Angeles, CA“I like the intelligence it shows, but it feels like he takes the joke too far.But I’ve come to believe that men, specifically, say they want funny and original. But I wonder if there’s anything more to it than my own personal experience.But when it comes to acting on that statement, most of them don’t. In fact, I think I’m posting this on JDaters Anonymous.I might respond; I like to give people chances.”-Kendra, 30, New York, New York The verdict: Brad has a winning format and identifies with the profilee’s passions, but our panel agrees that he should offer up some specifics.That way, she’ll know that when they’re sharing a bottle of wine after a show, they’ll be engaged in a lively discussion. Your words about supportiveness struck a chord, as did some of the other things you wrote.
I practice yoga and meditation pretty regularly, love to hike, cook, eat, travel, listen to live music, read and learn about people (despite a shy streak) and why we do what we do.
Men who treat women as unique and interesting individuals stand a much greater shot of receiving a response. The most interesting tidbit in her profile is the thing that sounds like it couldn’t have been written by anybody else in the world. Whatever it is, take her quirky tidbit and turn it into your pickup line. The most effective way to catch someone’s attention in an initial email is with fiction. Because the truth, as we’ve established, is boring. But does any of that sound like a good pickup line to you? A good joke doesn’t require an explanation – it’s obviously a joke.
The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this… Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.
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After all, what you write will directly impact that person’s impression of you—and whether they write back. To help answer that very question, we got five online daters to submit emails they’d sent to objects of their affection.