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Now that I work in the sex industry, I can allow myself to live.' It is mid-afternoon in a Jaffa apartment.

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I asked J to be out (he is currently living at a hotel) and now I am managing a 3BR, 2 ba house by myself and I am also taking care of our pets. I asked J to tell me the truth and I asked how many, how long. He was constantly getting other girl’s phone numbers and adding them on Facebook.

How could something so perfect be so horribly f*cked up?

After multiple phone calls to the school counselor and even the dean, I decided to return and try to go back to school.

But again, there was always an excuse — anti-depressants, he’s tired from work, he has trouble with libido, etc. I do not blame myself because I know no one should have to police or monitor their significant other. I wish there was a fast forward button so I could see what’s going to happen and I can start down that path right now.

J texts and emails me at least once a day saying how sorry he is, how he has been to a therapist and attended SA meetings.

“All these silly things give it the feeling that it’s local.” The stats from Israel’s most popular porn website, x-nxx, back him up: “Israeli sex” is the most popular category among the site’s users. “I always look for Mizrahi actors,” he adds, referring to Jews of Middle Eastern or North African origin.

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